A thought on thongs

Just a passing thought I had today while waiting in line for my sandwich.

I certainly get the idea behind wearing a thong in order to eliminate panty lines. I even SORT OF believe people who say that thongs are comfortable, though in my heart of hearts I suspect they're "comfortable" in the same way that that people say that high heels are comfortable -- that is, not COMFORTABLE, but, you know, bearable once you get used to it, or surprisingly not as UNcomfortable as you would expect, and because they've learned how to bear it and don't really want to own up that they're making themselves uncomfortable for fashion, they perpetuate this worldwide culty party line that high heels/thongs are like a summer breeze against your skin. I have attempted the thong a few times and I'll admit that it's not my scene. It made me crazy after like five minutes. So I live with panty lines, which I have various strategies for minimizing but which I'm sure make an appearance now and then. I like my underpants to cover my whole ass. Deal with it, people of earth!

(Which is not, by the way, to insinuate that people who wear thongs are vain and I'm not -- I'm plenty vain about some things, as I suppose most people are, it's just that in this case the ratio of uncomfortableness to vanity benefit is not sufficiently low [high? stupid ratios, I hate you] for my taste.)

But the thing I personally find unattractive, and I had an eyeful of this while in the sandwich line, is the opposite: when it's very apparent that someone is wearing a thong because the bottom half of their pants seat is inside their butt. I see this SO OFTEN, and quite frankly I find it FAR more unappealing than panty lines. I mean, I'm only guessing that it's that way because of a thong (or because of going commando, I guess), but with the phenomenon I'm talking about it seems like it would be difficult, just volume-wise, for pants AND underwear to get all up in there. So I'm going with the thong explanation.

There is probably a hipster Internet term for this that I don't know -- ass cameltoe? -- but, well, my observations in this area are my own. I most often see it while going up the stairs of the T station in the morning, and usually with business-type trousers. Today, though, it was with jeans. JEANS.

I mean, there's a reason that underpants have a back part. It's to protect your pants from your butt. And I can see why one would override this protective mechanism in order not to have panty lines -- I really can, and if I were less squirmy and irritable while wearing a thong I probably would too. But (a) if the pants are so tight that they crawl up your arse of their own accord, perhaps wearing a thong isn't the all-encompassing solution you think it is; and (b) do JEANS really require a thong? They're made of denim! Maybe they do, I don't know. Meh! My lawn! Get off it!

I try not to snark too much about other people's clothing choices (though I don't always achieve that goal), and it's certainly not a big deal. It just crossed my mind while I was standing there awaiting my ham, brie, honey mustard, and tomato on a croissant (the most delightful sandwich of all time). So I thought I would immortalize it on the Internet. The end.